Letters, We Get Letters

April 23, 2008

in Uncategorized

Got this one this week:

“I wonder if you would please answer a quick question from a genuine seeker….
My mind is reeling with the comments I hear from friends who attack the Emergent Movement. I could not possibly research all of their claims, but have caught major players in lies about Rob Bell. Would you please tell me if you have a book out that encourages people to carry actual idols around, to talk to them and rub them, and eventually they will begin to talk to you and guide you? I would be honored to receive a response from you. Thank you!”

Now, seriously, how does one even respond to an email like that?  I seriously love the internet, and I love the egalitarianizing force that it has on communication.  I’m a huge fan.  But the dark side is that it’s so much easier today to spread nasty rumors.

Pardon me.  I have to get back to rubbing my idol.

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

1 David April 23, 2008 at 10:30 am

You have at least renounced child cannibalism, right?
http://addisonrd.com/WordPress/2005/11/why-i-am-not-emergent/

2 brett April 23, 2008 at 10:44 am

if you rub it too often you will go blind!

3 Anastasia April 23, 2008 at 11:43 am

That was…surreal.

4 David April 23, 2008 at 11:54 am

Where do I get one of those…I so much want to be emergent…or is it emerge?

5 christiangadfly April 23, 2008 at 12:10 pm

I will admit upfront that I don’t completely understand all of what it means to be emerging and/or emergent. I will also admit upfront that what little I do think I understand I have some agreements and some serious misgivings about. However, I have to also admit that I am deeply ashamed of those who call themselves ‘defenders of the faith’ who do nothing but attack based on rumors, innuendos, and lies, without even making any attempt to learn or discover the truth for themselves. This has never been the right way to do things, will never be the right way to do things, and is wholly against everything Jesus taught.

6 Friar_Tuck April 23, 2008 at 12:41 pm

Sometimes you just have to laugh at stuff like that I suppose. That is kind of crazy.

7 Colin April 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Let’s see,

This morning I was finished up the second in the McLaren New Kind of Christian trilogy and my phone started vibrating. I took it out of my pocket to look at the screen and saw a large smudge on the screen and rubbed it off. I realized that it was probably from holding it too close to my face while talking to it. Anyway, I took it out and spoke to it for a while, and I was feeling a little lost, so I asked for some direction. Eventually it talked back to me (there was a bit of a delay as I think whoever was talking had to look up my location on mapquest), giving me directions. I put it back in my pocket.

I must say, from the likes of things Tony, you have encouraged this culture of idolatry.

8 D.G. Hollums April 23, 2008 at 3:39 pm

Wow, now that is just freaking insane! Unbelievable. Man, at first you have got to ask if it is a joke. Unbelievable!

I have a big belly, I wonder if people are going to start rubbing it for good luck, maybe there is a stone @ Solomon’s Porch that you can hang upside down and kiss for good luck.

9 Kirk Longhofer April 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm

The only idol I’m rubbing is the top of your head, brother!

Seriously, I think you respond. The answer is no, of course not, and then take the opportunity to respond to the real question. I think what’s really being asked is “why do you so-called Christian folk spend so much time beating the crap out of each other.”

If you can come up with that answer… you’re ahead of me!

10 Wes Ellis April 23, 2008 at 6:03 pm

Oh yeah, doesn’t everyone have one? Mine’s an American idol.

11 baptimergent1 April 24, 2008 at 7:10 am

I was asked at a local church forum if we (Dogwood Abbey) used mind altering drugs at our gatherings.

Its amazing what an insecure imagination will come up with.

12 Jonathan Pedrone April 24, 2008 at 7:56 am

Sadly, this letter is not unusual, or a misrepresentation of some folks actual view of both Emergent, Tony Jones, and Rob Bell…

I sometimes wonder if the people who write these ridiculous blogs, articles, and books, have ever actually read anything by those they are so harshly criticizing…

Besides, if they had read Tony’s book they would know that he doesn’t encourage people to rub generic idols, he encourages them to buy special Ezekiel’s Manna from his website that has the power to heal…

13 Tony Arens April 24, 2008 at 8:54 am

I can hardly walk and chew gum at the same time – if I add idol rubbing into the mix, I’d most certainly hit the pavement! Sounds like a great new product idea though – “The Pocket Idol, by Ronco! Perfect for rubbing! But wait, there’s more! Order two Pocket Idols, and you’ll get get a deck of Christian Tarrot cards for free!

14 Steve April 24, 2008 at 9:34 am

Most people don’t know anything about the EC except the rumors and innuendo that too often accompanies the unknown. I am not making excuses, just explaining the unfortunate behavior of people confronted with something they don’t understand.

That said, I see the same type of absurd characterizations of Evangelical theology, practice, and methodology being circulated by emergent leaders. Tony Jones isn’t the worst offender of this practice, but he certainly comes in a close second. Jones’ book, “The New Christians” is filled with some of the most absurd characterizations of modern Christianity I have seen. The trouble is, I find it hard to believe that Jones isn’t aware of what he is doing.

So, while slanderous characterizations of the EC might offend, emergents should be very careful how they respond; for whatever they say about such slanderers apply to them as well.

Steve

15 boumaj April 24, 2008 at 9:41 am

ummmm…that was probably the weirdest wtf-is-emergent question I think I’ve heard in a long time…and in my circles I’ve heard quite a bit!

-jeremy

16 James April 27, 2008 at 6:12 pm

that’s awesome – I totally just laughed out loud for real…

Awesome.

James<

17 Matt Stone May 5, 2008 at 6:33 pm

If anyone would liek to carry me around and rub my belly I’ll talk!!!

18 Ted Seeber December 30, 2009 at 11:43 am

The only idol I see any evangelical of any stripe carrying around is the Bible.

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